7 AM and I'm still awake
by Zero Output
Summary: After going away to college, the digi-destined now seem too busy for adventures. But, after a party is thrown by Ken and Yolei, Davis is forced to make a big decision. r&r please. /June 29/updates 2 new chapters.
1. Chapter 1

disclaimer : don't own it.

_So, I haven't done this in a while... obviously because all of the fanfics on my account are from the age 13 and I'm now 20. But what the hey! Anyway, hopefully this fic is well liked, I'm still in the process of finishing it up, but I thought I'd throw the first chapter up. Sorry about the OCness, I really hate original characters and vowed never to make a fic with one it it, and look at me now! My mama would be proud!.. or.. something. I kinda wrote this while I was in the midst of breaking up with somebody and reflecting on teenage cliques and how they never seem to last. Well, I'm rambling now. Enjoy._

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**Intro**

_I didn't mean to do it._

"_I can't do this with you anymore Kari." He whispered, his whole body shaking, looking at her, wasting her last moments on this earth looking up at him with such a hurt, puppy dog look in her eyes. "I don't expect you to stay here forever, I sure don't." He said. "But the thought of us all getting scattered makes me homesick for everything we all once had. Thinking about all that has been an eye opener to let me see what a happy life I have had." He paused. "But now everyone pushing me in all different directions makes me want to stay still forever. I can't stay inside anymore; I can't wait for you or anyone else anymore. I need my own T.K and I need my own life. I feel so stupid for clinging to and still believing in things I believed in when I was 14... and I shouldn't."_

"_No, you shouldn't. She coughed. " You threw away your hopes and you shouldn't lose that, which is something you taught me."_

_He shook, grabbing her arms harder. " I need to find me now. And I'll move, find a new girl and find new friends. But that scares me, not because I'm afraid of change but because I am afraid... that you won't care the way that I cared when you made these decisions."_

"_I will." She pleaded._

"_Shut up, just shut up!" He cried. " I'm here like you asked me to be, but I am not your fall back, I'm not just going to be here always, one day you will want a friends like me again, but I will have moved on, and what could have been's are magical, but they are so over!" He yelled. " When it doesn't end badly, it doesn't end at all. That is what I believed, but it's over. I keep going through a circle of people I was once close to, they keep rotating in memory and it's terrible, I'm deluded as to who they are to me, I'm sure my moments mean nothing to them. Yes, I think you're beautiful and you have a pure heart that I hope is seen... but it's over. He whispered as he cupped her mouth, the last of her breath being released into his palm before her pale body went limp._

* * *

Davis Motomiya walked into his brown brick apartment and struggled to get his keys into door eighty-one. His twenty-first birthday had just passed days earlier and had left his apartment in conditions his mother would definitely not look highly upon. Birthday cards, beer bottles, streamers and various other decorations were left on the floor as lifeless as they came. Davis had been estranged from his friends for quite some time, everyone was so busy with college and their personal lives that Digi-Hangouts were few and far between, the only one Davis still had consistent contact with was Ken and even his budding relationship with Yolei had kept him away more than two weeks now. Davis smiled as he heard soft rock music coming from the bathroom. He walked down the hall, dropping his coat on the black suede couch and made his way down the ivy halls. He opened the bathroom door and smiled at the girl bathing in his tub with a radio nearby. "Last week the toaster and this week the radio, you just love throwing my electronics in the bathtub. You're worse than Veemon!"

Her name was Emily. She and Davis met at college; they were both majoring in the culinary program and had been dating for eight months now; she knew all about the Digimon and had a Phascomon of her own. She had shoulder length dark brown hair, wispy side bands and sparkling blue eyes. Within the first few weeks of dating they had begun a sexual relationship, her first, his second. A relationship with sex proved to be much different than one without; there were more complications, more fights, but a connection that seemingly made everything worthwhile. He wondered what his previous relationships would have been like with the sexual aspect to them, coming to the conclusion that they would have been a lot better or a lot worse.

Davis kicked the bathroom door closed with his foot and sat beside the tub on the cold tile floor. "Hey you," she smiled, sinking deeper into the water as she raised her feet to the side of the tub.

"You know what?" He asked and she raised her eyebrow curiously. "I've been thinking about these feet all day," Davis grinned as he grabbed her feet and kissed each individual toe, "And how much they kicked me last night!" He finished with a tickle. Although they weren't living together, Emily would more often than not spend the night at Davis' bachelor pad. Even though Davis' parents were paying for his college, he still had to work to pay for his apartment, so he'd found a job as a waiter at a local French restaurant, the work was terrible; dealing with picky tourists all day but the money was good. All of this was just temporary anyway until his noodle cart took off.

Davis' mouth soon took a back seat for quite some time as Emily talked about her day, their latest mid-term and how much she was looking forward to the end of the month when the winter break would start. Man this girl could talk, but she was sweet and she adored the ground that Davis walked on, she could always make him laugh and she was breathtaking in all physical aspects of the relationship, yet something was making Davis unhappy. The fact that they had not grown up together made him wish things had turned out differently for him. He supposed a part of him was just bitter that the group had not stayed together, it seemed he was the only one still trying to form a get together between everyone or bothering to keep in touch. Still, that was no reason for sweet Emily to take any of the backlashes.

Davis got on his knees and moved closed to her torso, he swished his hand around in the water and rested his chin on the side of the ceramic tub. "Sad boy," she said softly as she cupped his cheek in her dripping hand. "What's up with you lately, booger?"

"Maybe that nickname's finally getting to my head." He smiled. "I dunno, just been thinking a lot lately that's all."

"_You_, thinking?" She giggled.

"Ha ha, very funny," said Davis as he leaned in to kiss his bathtub beauty. "What do you want to do tonight?"

Emily kicked her feet in the water, splashed about and did a lot of humming before she responded. "I was thinking anchovy pizza, three different flavored popcorns and old reruns of foreign soap operas?"

"Foreign soap operas?" He repeated.

"Yeah!" She exclaimed. "I was thinking we could do the voice overs, it'll be fun!"

"Oh, sounds like a night to remember!" He grinned. "I'll order the pizza!"

Emily then grabbed his shirt and tugged him towards her; he complied. "Not so soon, mister." She smirked and dragged him to the tub, wetting the front of his work shirt and parts of his face as she kissed him.

"What's that for?" Davis whispered, a smile forming at the right of his mouth.

She shrugged. "You know what that's for, I missed you!" She cheered.

Hours had passed and the pizza had finally arrived, making the perfect nights activities completed. Emily had decided to go home and spend some time with her visiting brother, she offered for Davis to come along but alas work in the morning prevented him from doing so. Davis was out on the shabby balcony chilling his warm beer with the weather. He looked out on the streets of Odaiba, decorated with early Christmas decorations, which lit up in Tokyo's bay. He exhaled smoke that glowed in the brisk winter air and overlooked all of the hangouts viewable from his balcony, reminding him of his friends. The passed two years had been incredibly lonely ones for Davis, even with the new girlfriend. In and out of relationships, in and out of a job, barely making it through school, almost friendless. He tried to convince himself, almost daily; that it wasn't anybodies fault everyone is just busy.

What is _too busy_ though? You don't just go through on a roller coaster and not scream, you don't bake a pie and never taste it, you don't save the world with your friends and then forget about them, busy or not. Paranoia would sometimes set in and Davis would wonder if maybe they did all see each other often, maybe they just never invited him. He'd gotten a lot better at controlling that paranoia, he'd gotten better at controlling a lot of thoughts, why, he hadn't thought of her in days, weeks. He stubbed out his cigarette and put it in his yellow ashtray, the color now fading from the elements. He brushed his arms in order to get some heat as he re-entered his house, reaching the couch he flopped down and took off his dirty work pants.

He turned off the television and put his dishes into the washer, a rare occurrence. Once on, Davis hoisted himself atop the washer and sat, restlessly tapping his fingers on the counter to some of his old favorite songs. Was childhood so lost? Twenty-one now, was everything really that far away? Seemingly, nobody really changed, or if they did it was so gradual that nobody really noticed, and as the month's pass and still no visits, how can they? Davis could feel a vibration on his leg and it wasn't the dishwasher, it was his cell phone. He took out the sleek, black device and opened it, "Ken?" He spoke into the phone after reading the caller id. "Hey man I was just thinking about you!"

"Hi Davis," came the polite voice on the other end. "I just wanted to call and apologize again for missing your birthday bash, exam week and all, things are a bit stressful over here."

"Yeah I missed you there." Davis said with a cheer to his voice. "It's no biggie though, you'll enjoy me being twenty-one for a whole year still."

"Good, I'm glad you aren't mad. I was actually calling for a reason."

"Oh yeah?" Davis asked. "You'd better not ask me to clean your moms gutters again, 'cause man that was very un-radical!"

Ken laughed. "No Davis, although I'm sure she'd appreciate it!"

"Then what is it?"

"Well, Yolei and I are having a small get together at my house and we were wondering if you'd like to come?"

"Sure!" Davis cheered. "Wow, I'm really glad. I thought Yolei was still angry with me for spilling grape juice all over your new white duvet cover! Man, she was as mad as a Digimon with no lunch!" Ken laughed and hesitated for a moment before speaking again. "Yeah," Ken paused "She's defiantly hoping you won't do that again, but yeah we'd both love it if you came, you can bring Emily if she's free as well."

"Just name the date and time!"

"Sure," Ken said while picking up his date-book. "It's next Saturday around seven? Just dress normal, it's a dinner and chit-chat type of thing."

"Sure thing, see you Saturday!" said Davis as he closed his phone. This was the perfect idea to perk up the night.

**Friday Night**

Davis slouched around his apartment after a hard days work and began exchanging emails through his D-terminal with Veemon who was busy helping rebuild a town in the Digital World. Davis promised he would come in and help right after Saturday and Veemon insisted it wasn't necessary but that it would be much appreciated and that he missed seeing Davis. Davis sighed as his electronic conversation with his Digi-partner came to an end and he tossed his device to the dirty carpet. "Hey Ems!" He called to the next room while rubbing his forehead.

"What?" came a yell.

"I have this thing tomorrow, with the group, do you wanna come?"

"What?" She repeated. "A thing?"

"Yeah like a get together, you in?"

Out of habit she shook her head, knowing that Davis couldn't see her from the other room. "No I cant, I have to work and then I should study for the exam coming up, and so should you come to think of it!" She said as she walked into the living room with a plate of various cheeses and crackers. She sat on the couch in her pink bra and panties and flopped her legs on Davis lap, Davis' legs now covered by goose bumps at the touch of her skin to his. It had become a quirk of his, around pretty girls, or just Emily as of late, if he could feel skin to skin, or smell her, his whole body would cascade with goose bumps. Smiling as she twirled his spiked hair in her fingertips Emily signaled with her hand for Davis to softly tickle her legs. "Why don't you tickle my legs!" he argued and then paused before speaking again. "So you don't want to go?"

"It's not that I don't want to, I like Ken and them, I just can't. I have to study."

"It figures I go out with the one college student who does all their homework early." He pouted. "Well, I'm going to go, I hope you don't care."

"Go, eat, have fun!" She smiled, "And take the camera."

Lonely. Emily fell into Davis' lap and he stroked her hair, looking above the fake fireplace at the photo of him and his friends at graduation. He used to love that picture, it embodied his childhood and growing up with such wonderful people, such happiness. Now, with a slightly bitter spirit, all Davis could see in the photograph were people just standing there smiling. He looked down at Emily, his new start, and this moment made him appreciate her companionship all the more, although he was curious as to how the weekend would go.

As 1:00 am rolled around Davis couldn't sleep. He got up and walked over to his closet, suddenly in a panic of what to wear. He lit a cigarette and thrashed through the piles of clothes and threw onto his floor three possible wardrobe choices for tomorrow. After rummaging for almost a half hour for a white shirt, Davis stumbled upon his old goggles; of course they would be immature to wear tomorrow, although Davis did still have a weak spot for goggles. He smiled at them and placed them on his dresser. "Hey I found my goggles!" He yelled happily to his sleeping girlfriend. She didn't respond and he waved his hand in defeat in her direction. With a wardrobe set for the following day, Davis could finally lie down and try to sleep. The sky went a bitter shade of midnight blue and hard rain flooded the streets within minutes, sounds of thunder shook the quiet apartment as rain pelted itself through Davis' open window. Rain could also be heard in droplets coming from a pot in the kitchen... the leaky roof still needed to be fixed. Ah, the perks of living on the top floor. Small streams of water hurried through the street, all else he could remember before falling asleep was the sound of rain hitting the roof outside his window above the balcony.

By the time Davis awoke the next morning it was 4:00 pm and Emily had already left. He groggily made his way into the bathroom, almost tripping over the piles of clothes he had organized on the floor the previous night. He walked into the bathroom and peeled off his dirty clothes and stepped into the shower, putting it on a wonderful mix of hot and cold that mainly consisted of hot. His stomach turned with excitement for the day as he washed the key parts of his body, not bothering with small details like his knees or arms. He quickly doused his hair with shampoo and rinsed it in a rush. He jumped out of the shower and ran to the kitchen with no towel, he hit the answering machine play button as it had one red light blinking; it was Ken reminding him of the evening and asking him to bring some sort of wine.

Davis slipped into his chosen clothes and made a mental checklist in his head as he headed into his car. Keys, wallet, cell-phone, the apartment door was locked, straight iron was off, everything was good. He got inside the yellow sports car and made his way around town, paying bills, grabbing some alcohol and running some errands before speeding off to Ken's house.

Ken and Yolei were engaged and living together in a gray brick house on a perfect street. Although Davis was happy for his friends, he could practically see their future together: one dog, 2.5 kids –perfect students of course--, their beautifully furnished house, great paying jobs and squabbling every Sunday night about who's going to wash the dishes. That kind of life worked for some people, but not Davis, he didn't want anything planned out, not anymore. Davis arrived ten minutes late to the get together. His stomach flipped as he raced to the front door of Ken's house and enthusiastically knocked.

"Davis, come on in!" Yolei smiled. Davis exchanged a greeting and walked into the house. He removed his shoes and walked through the hallway into the yellow and blue kitchen, still following Yolei. "So is everybody here?" he asked.

"They're all here." She smiled. "Thanks for bringing the alcohol Davis, we didn't really have the time to."

"Yeah, you were probably too busy setting up the decorations, right?" He said as he looked around the completely spotless, decoration-less apartment.

She laughed, "Oh shut up." She handed him a glass of wine and smacked his shoulder playfully. "Here, now go socialize, and don't spill on anything!"

The night went on better than he could have imagined. Everyone was there; Davis talked with just about everybody and laughed so hard his stomach hurt. It seemed that Ken wasn't the only one to have found that special someone. Matt and Sora were married and pregnant, although that was old news. Apparently he proposed on stage when his band was playing at Sora's college. Matt and Sora waited until they were married to indulge in the sexual aspect of their relationship, Davis admired that, as it was something he could never do. Their baby was planned and both families were beaming with pride for their children... Hell, even Tai was bouncing with joy, going on rants about how uncle Tai and little baby were going to take on the world. Tai was also seeing somebody; "no one special" is what Tai would refer to her as. The truth was a part of him would always love Sora, but he was man enough to admit her and Matt were made for one another and move on. He was more focused on the Digital World and his career; he was currently taking law and hoped to do some diplomatic work for the Digi-World and Earth.

Mimi was in university but had changed her major three times now and was surprisingly single, she said it was to focus on her friends and her career but Davis thought it might be because she had already dated every boy in America!

Izzy had been seeing the same girl since grade eleven, Naoko Yamamoto. They were both taking a computer science course in University and both have Tentomon, a match made in heaven! A conservative couple, they wouldn't even kiss goodnight in front of anyone. They had the grand plan, get married after five years of being out of school, perfect careers doing genius work and little Tentomon babies running around their apartment. Joe was a doctor in training, out of school and always on the move. No lover just yet, always work, work, work. Whenever they would hang out Joe would constantly bring up new diseases and ways to cure common allergies. Davis was convinced Joe would find the cure for cancer! Cody had just begun dating an American girl, Amanda McCann. It was Cody's first girlfriend and it was quite amusing when he would go to the group for relationship advice.

Then, there were them. The Digi power couple, Kari and T.K. Everyone saw it coming and grade twelve semi-formal sealed the deal. Almost three years later and still "going strong." Davis saw less and less of Kari since the pair had begun seeing each other. It's not like they just started dating, they knew each other forever, and things were immediately serious. It was the part of life that made the last few months of high school a living hell. Surprise flowers at lunchtime, skipping a class here and there for an early date, just annoying parts of relationships that tear friendships and groups of friends apart. Kari was in University, on her way to becoming a teacher and T.K was in college taking creative writing and English, going to be some kind of great novelist or something to that effect. Davis had a falling out with Kari a year ago when he freaked out on her after hearing her choice words about Davis' love life. _Life isn't all about you, Kari. It's no wonder nobody wants to hang out anymore; you guys make everybody feel like the third wheel. _The two had only spoken politely since then.

Explaining the whole story would result in Davis' mind spinning around in circles with the details. As far as he was concerned, he was done entertaining the idea of the pair being together. They had their chance, she blew it, or was it he, who blew it? The details were blurry, but he could still remember the feeling that night, the absolute envelopment in love, touch, alcohol and passion for the moment. Something T.K more than likely still did not know about, something Davis was forced to put in the back of his mind. "Hey, Kari." He managed to squeak out as he walked by the happy couple that were coupling on the suede couch.

"Hey." She responded with faux happiness, grasping T.K's hand in hers. She looked down at their hands and then up to Davis' eyes. "How are you enjoying the party?"

"Fine." He responded dryly. Looking down at their hands clasped together he said, "Better if there was hard liquor here."

"Actually," T.K smiled, getting up from the sofa. "I brought rum, just in case the party needed some sprucing. I'll go grab it from my car." He said as he dashed outside, leaving Kari and Davis to sit and stare at one another in a less than comfortable manner. "So, how are you guys?" Davis asked, trying to make polite conversation.

"We're good." She tilted her head and stared into her wine glass. "How is Emily?"

"Like you care." He laughed sarcastically.

Kari rolled her eyes and set the wine glass on the table. "Come on, Davis. I'm trying to be nice, pleasant, even. Sit." She commanded as she patted her hand on the sofa spot where T.K had been previously sitting. "Now, how's Emily?" She smiled as he begrudgingly sat next to her. He looked, good. He wore black pants with a white collared shirt and a brown argyle sweater vest to go over top. Color coordinated perfectly enough to bring out his eyes.

"She's fine." He responded. "She's studying for finals."

"Oh," she smiled. "So she won't be coming tonight?"

He shook his head and somberly responded, "Nope." He kept his distance as much as he could while they sat next to one another. Taking in her sweet perfume, "sugar and walnuts", which sounded disgusting but smelled so heavenly. She was wearing a yellow, flowing dress that stopped at the knee and led into black chunky boots. Her hair fell just above her shoulders with a yellow bow tied right beside her bangs. Mascara and a light pink lip-gloss were the only traces of makeup found on her face. Her fingernails were painted yellow and perfectly filed to a rounded tip, the thought of her actually taking the time out of her day to paint them brought a smile to his face. These were all the things he studied as their bodies sat so still next to one another. He looked up at her, his stomach turning as he remembered the sound of her sharply inhaling and then slowly exhaling. "So everything is good between you two?" She asked.

"Yeah, everything is good." He said with no hint that he would be going into further detail.

Kimber questioned again where Emily was, he told her Emily was spending the night at her parents and the pair shortly thereafter left the party, unbeknownst to Josh, who had since gotten tipsy on the rum he'd failed to bring to Aiden.

Aiden was back at his apartment with Kimber.

He didn't go into the relationship expecting to love her. She had originally been nothing more than a girl he had vague interest in, and sex-experience. But for now, he did not love this girl, even though to her he said otherwise. He did, however, have companionship and respect for her. When she was gone, more often than not, he missed her. She was beautiful, skinny, a stomach with just the right amount of weight as to not be the newest imitation Barbie.

It was a joke to believe they would be together forever. Still, she was his girlfriend, his steady girlfriend, and she deserved the best.

Yet here he was, dreaming about his "one", Kari, and here she was, lying in his bed with a glass of vodka, smiling at him as she snuggled into his down-filled blankets. She was his perfect other. It was one of those perfect "relationships" where you're both quick with your jokes and the wit is flying around both of you like a snowstorm and whenever you talk to that person you just get a vibe where you're blissfully in love. Everything she was, was beautiful. Every word she spoke was full of meaning to him, and here she was lying next to him, her head on his stomach as he nervously stroked her back. The setting was calm, quiet; he hadn't spoken in almost an hour. She stood and set her drink on the nightstand and then came back onto the bed, on all fours, and crawled over to him. Her lips were perfectly shaped, fading into her face, as if a graceful artist had put intense thought into them.

She moved his laptop off of his legs and replaced it with her body. Leaning in she met her lips with his, softly dancing their lips around one another. His head raced as she pulled off his shirt, and him doing the same to her, revealing her black bra. His eyes beamed as he viewed his friend in a light that he had tried not to for years. His chest now feeling the warmth and lace on her chest, pressed to his. He felt his skin raise and his body thrust into action, placing his hand on her back, easing her as he hovered over top of her. "Are you sure?" He asked, now sweating.

"Yeah." She smiled, propping her head up, flicking her tongue across his teeth. His lips reciprocated, shaking with anticipation of thing's to proceed.

The next morning held gloomy December skies, but Davis was beaming. He got out of his bed and stretched. While looking down at the pale, beautiful, naked body lying on his bed's soiled sheets, he couldn't help but feel happy. He then made his way into his kitchen and began making breakfast for the two to eat in bed: orange juice, coffee, eggs, sausage, and toast. The cold kitchen floor sent chills through his body as he raced back into the bedroom with two plates of food. "Good morning." He greeted, surprised as he saw Kari already awake and getting dressed. Her face flushed red as he walked in on her placing her bra back on. "Keep it off." He joked, and she shook her head no. Kari was too modest a girl to be nude for no reason at all. "Good morning." She responded.

"I made breakfast." Davis grinned as he sat on the bed, moving the covers to the side. He patted his hand against the mattress and she sat down across from him. They sat together for two hours, having the strange, quirky conversations they normally have, about drinking cold coffee and noises people make on the subway. Both were fully interested in what the other had to say, but Kari seemed slightly disheveled whenever she caught glimpse of a clock. "Everything alright?" He asked.

"Yeah." Kari nodded, glancing at her cell phone.

"You're waiting for him?" Davis asked, slightly sickened by the thought. Kari nodded yes and opened up her cell. "Gonna tell him that it's over?" He asked, monitoring her facial expressions, which held guilt. "Oh." He exhaled sharply, his words barely audible. His eyes narrowed down to the floor and glanced back up, giving Kari a hurt stare.

"You're _not_ going to tell him it's over." He confirmed.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2** - "You're _not_ going to tell him it's over." He confirmed with a nod of his head. Suddenly that guilt, that gut feeling decided to take over. He now felt like he'd slowly murdered everyone he cared about. He'd now ruined a friendship, lost his self-respect and potentially ruined a loving relationship with someone that could only be salvaged by a lie. He betrayed the one person who was always loyal to him and all of this was thrown away for someone who'd already left him once. Why couldn't Emily have come to the party?

"I can't do this with you anymore Kari." He whispered, his whole body shaking, looking at her. He paused before saying, "I can't stay in this 'four-years-ago' time frame, and I can't wait for you anymore. I need my own Josh and I need my own life. I need you to let me go."

Kari looked down from his eyes and with obnoxious confidence she said, "Only you can do that, Davis." Davis knew what that meant, it meant she liked him pining for her all these years, she liked the power she held over him and she wasn't about to let it go.

"Please, let me go. Tell me there's no chance, tell me it's over and to let it go." He repeated. She asked what he would do without her, trying to joke, but he knew there was truth to her question. He shook, grabbing his sheets in between his knuckles and said, "I'll move on again, find a new girl or fix this mess you've left me and Emily with. I'll find new friends. But that scares me."

She raised her eyebrow, happy with her control and said, "Why?"

He felt highly emasculated right now. "I am afraid... that you won't care the way that I cared when you made these decisions. Moving on." She opened her mouth to speak but he cut her off. "I am sick of being your fall back, I'm not just going to be here always, one day you will want a friend like me again, but I will have moved on."

"I know." She said with tears threatening to spill. "Believe me Davis, I will always dream about what could have been, but this isn't right." She said placing her hand over her heart. "We both have somebody and Josh and I just seem to match. You and I are beautiful and last night was beautiful but…" She shook her head. "I don't know what to say."

With a raise of his eyebrows he said, "No I get it. _What could have beens_ are magical, but they are so over."

Kari finished dressing and decided she was done addressing the matter. "You're upset, and I get that, but Emily is coming back today and you have to either like, clean up or tell her what happened."

"Yeah. I don't… think she should know right now. I don't think she should know." He said as Kari nodded and rested her arm on his back. Sometimes he wished she'd never met T.K., sometimes he wished he'd of moved further away from her, and sometimes he wished his life would turn out to be a poorly written sitcom, which would explain all the plot twists. Kari left shortly thereafter and suggested they not see each other anymore. Davis slept the rest of the day away, ignoring several phone calls from Ken, inquiring where Davis and Kari had run off to and a separate phone call inviting him out for coffee that afternoon.

Davis didn't like to think of himself as morally challenged, though this situation seemed to prove that he clearly was. Davis had never cheated on anyone before, and the thought that what he and Kari had was "cheating" seemed strange. Thinking that Kari helped him "cheat" on Emily made him feel even angrier at the situation. When you cheat on someone and fail to tell them, is your "I love you" still valid?

At 9PM, Davis had made a trip to the gym, as he couldn't very well sleep. After going to the gym, Davis returned home for a shower. To Davis, showers at the gym were far too personal with other gym members. Instead of showering, though, he wrapped himself in a cold blanket, his room was smoking hot –that's what he needed, a good smoke- and his legs were restless to get up and walk around. He lay with his head on his arm, which was raised above his pillow. He reached onto the ground for his jeans and pulled his cigarettes out of the pocket. Empty.

Great.

Lying back down, he pulled the cotton sheets over his body and struggled to sleep, recalling every moment from the party. Things he could have done different. Woulda, coulda, shoulda's. Davis didn't like to think of himself as morally challenged, though this situation seemed to prove that. Davis had never cheated on anyone before, and the thought that what he and Kari had was "cheating" seemed strange. Thinking that Kari helped him "cheat" on Emily made him feel even angrier at the situation. When you cheat on someone and fail to tell them, is your "I love you" still valid?

Apparently, in the sudden throws of guilt, sleeping is heavily discouraged. He could still smell sugar and walnuts on his sheets, not that he cared anymore… He felt terrible. After investing so much into Emily… What kind of person would do this to someone they care about? He'd met her parents for goodness sakes.

He wondered if he finally found the perfect life, career path, and girlfriend, or was his life scarily planned out and routine? When it comes to relationships, Davis wondered, is the spark subjected only to the beginnings of relationships, or were people just willing to settle without the spark in order to be comfortable?

With Kari, it'd always been the spark, but was that only so because he couldn't have her? If all the while she had been living with him, instead of Emily, would he feel just as content and trapped? Did he cheat because he felt trapped… or was that just his minds excuse?

He wondered if it could all boil down to, you'll always hold onto the one who got away. The faux relationship where everything was so wonderful, and it never quite leaves the ground due to a third party, or some other unforeseen occurrence. Even if the relationship turned ugly near the end, you'll always have a soft spot for that person and you'll always manage to remember the good times first.

Was _comfortable _just another word for _rut? _It seemed once out of a relationship, comfortable is where you want to get back to, and when you finally get there, you're bored.

What was down the path for him and Emily? He loved her, she'd been his longest relationship, they were living together, it only seemed fitting that marriage would be one of the next steps, that, and graduating. How was marriage supposed to work, anyway? Davis feared divorce, it didn't even seem like it should be legal. Two people shouldn't get married under the terms that if it doesn't work out there's always an exit door. In light of his new thoughts on marriage he wondered, could two people really evolve together, especially at such a young age when there is still so much changing to be done?

Then again, do people ever stop changing?

How badly did Emily need to know the truth? He thought about this most of the night. Some who have been married for years and years profess they'd rather not know if their spouse had a previous affair, _why wreck my life now_, type of thing. And _if_ you're sorry, if it's over and if you know it'll never happen again, do you need to tell your partner? If you love them and know it even more so now, if you know you'll never repeat your passed mistakes, do you _need_ to tell your mate, just to relieve a guilty conscience with hopes of forgiveness?

They say that guilt and shame are actually quite different. Shame is a genuine embarrassment for what you've done, a wallowing self pity, whereas guilt often leads you to fix and/or learn from your mistakes. Perhaps, he would choose to learn from his mistake…be a better man for it, or perhaps he would just suck it up, be a man and tell her the truth and hope for what was fair. Yes, Emily deserved to know. Finally, he was tired.

Suddenly his stomach clenched as he heard the bedroom door creek open. "Booger, you up?" Emily whispered as she clumsily came into the room. He laid in a cold sweat; his heart beating 200 beats per-minute as he pretended to sleep.

He heard her toss her sandals onto the ground. The sound of her bare feet hitting the hardwood floor caused a smile to come across his face. Sometimes it was the simplest things she did that put him at ease. It seemed she gave up trying to be silent when she hopped into bed with him. Her hand was cold as she moved it across his bare chest. She rested her head in the crook of his neck and said, "Davis?" He froze and tried his best to fake sleeping, only to be thwarted as he felt her smile on his neck and she said, "I know you're awake." He then shot up and turned to her with a terrible worried stare.

"What's up?" He asked in his best groggy voice.

She placed her hand over her heart as his sudden jolt startled her. "Jeez, Davis, your heart was beating a mile a minute, are you alright?"

Breathe deep. "Em, I have to tell you something."

"Okay…" She said, now sounding concerned.

"Em…" he paused.

"Davis, you're scaring me. What?" With her one hand on her heart still, she used the other to begin fixing her hair behind her ear. At important or scary moments, Emily often felt the need to look presentable, like if somebody was going to hurt her feelings, she wanted to look good when it happened.

Davis could feel his stomach flipping. He truly didn't want to lose her, to hurt her, to see the look on her face. What would Emily be like if she knew? Would she start to max his credit cards, tell all their friends what a jerk he was… or maybe reveal a not so sexy story about their personal life? Maybe he wasn't giving her enough credit, but then again, he'd been around an ex with a broken heart, he'd even been one, and he knew from experience that rational thought tends to go out the window.

She'd probably pack her things, pack up half of his life, hey, there may even be a slap or two involved. Surely, if he kept her, lied to her… a relationship based on a lie would come back to haunt him. They always blow up, the lie comes back around and ruins things, and could he handle the guilt if he went forward with it. Suddenly, a guilt pang was sent through his stomach and he ran to the bathroom, cupping his mouth.

Emily rushed after him. She sat beside him and rubbed her hands on his thighs as he threw up. He stopped and put the lid on the toilet down, taking a seat on it, he couldn't tell if his tears were from throwing up or not. She looked up at him as he cupped his face. He looked down at her, his eyes were empty and glossed over, much like during sex, but this was not a stare of ecstasy. Davis shook his head. His breath was loud and slow.

"How was the party?" She asked in a quiet, condemning voice, still making eye contact.

Davis then began to cry. He realized this was not the most masculine, or innocent thing to be doing. He ran his hands through his hair. His face slowly creased as the tears fell. The last time Emily saw him cry was… he couldn't even remember. His lip quivered quickly as the salty tears covered his lips. No noise was heard except the leaking faucet. Finally, he raised his head, sweating and crying, meeting his eyes with Emily to await his judgment. Emily frowned and then her face went blank. She took his hand and guided him back into their bedroom. She got under the thin, black sheet, never letting go of his hand. She then wrapped his arms around her as they lay, back to stomach. She grabbed his hand and put it over her heart.

Minutes passed and the room was silent. Davis wasn't sure if Emily had fallen asleep as he whispered, "Will you still be here tomorrow?" into her ear. She sat up, causing the sheet to make a crinkling noise. He knew if they broke up, it'd be the noise he remembered most. She turned to him and smiled and she then lay down and snuggled into his chest. The next morning Davis walked into the kitchen where Emily was making breakfast. "Hi," he said as he stepped into his pants.

"Morning," She smiled. She smelled freshly showered. He loved that smell. He then began to wonder how long she had been awake. Had she been packing all morning, did she know and had she already called her mom and cleared plans to move home or find her own dorm?

He walked up behind her and shyly put his hand on her stomach. "Are we okay" He asked. She said nothing and he began to reason, "Em, look…"

Then she smiled and turned around. "It's coolio, foolio! Look, I know Kari was at the party and I _know_ that sometimes she gets to you. So you can have your little breakdowns and I'll remain calm and not jealous, do you know why?"

"Why?" He asked nervously.

"Because I know that they are just passing feelings from the past and I _know_ that you'd never do anything stupid," She then smacked the spatula against his arm. "Right?"

He then wrapped his arms around her and smelled her fresh wet hair. "You're too good for me."

"Really?" She smirked. "Finally, something you and my mother agree on!"

"Oh, zing!" He laughed and defended, "Your mother loves me!"

"Oh, uh-huh." She smiled.

**So, there we have it. Davis is a hobag! ; This fic is pretty out of character, I am aware. The reason? This is all part of a book I am writing (that isn't Digimon) but I thought it would make an interesting Digi-fic so have gone through it separately and changed names to Digimon ones and added bits about the Digital world, etc, etc… I was thinking of setting it an like, an alt. universe but… oh well. Hope at least someone is enjoying it. **


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter **3 - It had been two weeks since the last incident and Davis was now out at a bar with some friends. He looked across the room as he feigned interest in what Tai was talking about. Davis grabbed a shot of something blue and stared at Kari. She was wearing her black, "Hugs not Drugs" tee and low-rise jeans, which cuffed at her jutting hipbones. At times, he found her thin figure attractive, while other times he worried about the return of a high-school eating disorder. Neither of these points was for him to be thinking.

Just then, Josh walked to her side, leaning in he helped her shoot a pool ball. While watching the pair do coupley things that make onlookers nauseas, Davis suddenly came upon the urge to seek Emily out. T.K. left the room in a hurry and Kari caught sight of Davis. She approached him with a cocky walk and ordered scotch on the rocks, her 'I'm a dude' drink. Sitting in the stool next to him she said, "What's up Davis?" Clearly, he could only get her attention when she was drunk. "You here alone?" She asked as she eyed him up and down.

He rolled his eyes and said, matter-of-factly, "I'm here with Emily."

Kari tapped her fingers on her glass in annoyance and watched Emily step in from the patio. Davis detected a slight hint of jealousy that caused a smile to form at the creases of his mouth.

Emily was wearing a black and white polka dot skirt with a black army'esque jacket. Her hair was in a high ponytail and she was wearing blue eye shadow and a lot of mascara. Davis liked his women to look like women: dresses, skirts, and makeup. It wasn't that he couldn't appreciate t-shirts and shorts, but he loved a lady with fashion. Nowhere better to find that then in an art/fashion major. He smiled and patted her lower back, wrapping his arms around her he said, "Did you go out in public like this?"

Emily grinned and said, "Yes, why?"

"Mine." He growled, grabbing her tighter. "Are you sure you don't want to stay out tonight?"

She nodded, "I'm sure, I'm going to Yolei's for a bit."

"How long do you think you'll be gone?" Davis asked, pursing his lips curiously, unaware that she would be heading off to a friends. Great, just what he needed, more temptation. She shrugged and told him she didn't know how long she intended to be. She asked if he would be home soon and he nodded. He cuddled with her for a moment longer and began to wonder, in the world of exes, is it best to cut off all connections and be done with it? This seems to be where complications arise. In an age where we are so fickle about relationships, it is almost destined for one to get hurt by, or fall back in love with their friendly exes.

A relationship's reputation seems to be tarnished by still knowing a former-flame who, at this point, is no longer fiery for you. When it comes to the world of exes, is it better to keep your good memories and trash the possibility of friendship?

Kari was jealous when it came to prior relationships Davis had in high school; she told him it was inappropriate to share those kinds of details. Emily, however, was more that curious about Davis's past, insisting to know everything. Though sometimes uncomfortable, it was easier to open up about, and listen to those stories at the beginning of their relationship. When you initially like someone, it's easier to accept flaws when those feelings are fresh.

Davis didn't believe in rebounds, instead, he believed in a relationship "white-knight" to come around after a failed relationship, and the white knight would be there, not to get you over previous woman, but to get you ready for the next great love that lies ahead.

This is what Emily was, at first. However, the "friendship first" concept seemed to break Davis's theory about rebounds. Perhaps that's why he and Kari never lasted, they were never that good of friends. That's probably what made it so sexy also. Emily wore a lot of makeup, as an art student, crazy colors, an excessive amount, too. While Kari's makeup was always worn naturally.

His many comparisons were becoming obsessive. If he kept this up, he was going to make himself a very unhappy boyfriend. It was as though he was constantly transporting himself to four years ago. He had begun wearing old clothes and listening to the same music as he did back in the "group days."

The night went on and Emily had made her way off hours ago. It was past closing time and the bartender, a college friend, had let Davis and Ken stick around until four a.m. to play pool and get pack a few more back. Davis had gotten increasingly fall down drunk in the process and Ken decided that it was time to take him home.

Davis stumbled into the apartment with a bang of the door. "Shh," said Ken to him while he supported a falling Davis with his arm. "Is Em home?" Ken asked as he rested Davis against the kitchen cabinet.

"Yes, she is," Emily said as she stepped into the kitchen wearing an orange tank top, braless, and a blue pair of briefs. Her eyes widened as she caught sight of Davis. "Is he drunk?" She asked Ken with a raise of her eyebrow, instilling in him a fear that only an angry girlfriend could produce. Clearly, she had already chosen to blame Ken for this mishap. "Jeez, Ken, I've been freaking out all night wondering where the hell he was and now you bring him home to me trashed?"

Davis walked in and paid no attention to Emily's anger; instead, he used the washroom and came back out quickly. With annoyance in his face and tone he said, "The bathroom smells terrible. Ugh, what _is_ that?"

Emily rolled her eyes as if to say 'are we really doing this right now?' and she said, "I cleaned it, the smell is the bleach that was in the tub."

"Oh," He groaned as he took out the Aspirin, loudly putting it on the counter. Logically, he realized getting angry with Emily for cleaning the bathroom seemed a little crazy, but lately they were fighting about everything. Davis walked back into the bathroom to finish and slammed the door behind him. In his intoxicated state, he wasn't sure what they were fighting about but he knew they were now fighting.

Ken turned away from the slammed bathroom door and approached Emily and said, "Sorry Em. Look, he had a bad day and I asked him to meet me at another bar. You knew he was out anyway, right?"

Emily winced and said, "Yes but he said he'd be home in an hour, I mean come on!"

"Look Em, he was going to call you but I kept insisting it was a guy's night out." Ken explained, feeling very awkward as he never liked lying.

"Oh, stop it!" Emily yelled with a roll of her eyes. "Don't lie for him Ken, he does it so well for himself." Emily shook her head as Ken apologized and watched him go to the door and go to leave. "Goodnight," she said with the last ounce of kindness in her voice. She locked the door behind him and walked into the bedroom. Davis wasn't much for getting wasted, and never had been.

She now realized she was facing a problem in her relationship.

Food choices, movies, friends, and use of coasters… these were all topics covered by the couple within the last week. Ken said it was normal, that couples have "spats" about silly things all the time, but Davis never had, and he knew that somehow he'd been changed. In the bathroom, Davis sat on the toilet, fully clothed as he text messaged Kari. Mentally, he was begging for a response. In his mind, he had already created the lie he would tell Emily if Kari agreed to meet him. It was almost shocking how none of his dirty, untrustworthy personality traits were registering with him.

His body was trembling and sick, with sharp pains that circulated around his throat and chest, these feeling were bringing his eyes to tears. His thoughts of the situation were obsessive. Constantly wondering where Kari was, whom she was with and what she was doing. Perhaps if he'd taken this much time analyzing himself with Emily, their relationship wouldn't be falling apart.

Davis felt frustration at the situation and punched the wall of the bathroom, causing the paint to crack and drywall dust to fall to the floor. He then kicked the table that sat next to the bathtub. Towels and small bottles of perfumes fell on the ground causing a loud bang. He put his hands over his face before letting out a loud scream. His voice strained and scratched as he yelled and he expected the neighbors to knock frantically on the apartment door, asking if everything was all right.

He then lay there on the tiled bathroom floor and fell asleep for three hours, taking him to five in the morning. The floor was uncomfortable and he was suddenly regretting the decision not to get a bathroom rug. Davis awoke, still feeling a wee drunk, this feeling was accompanied with a large headache and his phone was vibrating with messages from Ken.

Davis exited the room and stood in the hallway. The apartment was deathly quiet, silence only breaking for sounds of small sobs coming from the bedroom. Emily had no doubt heard Davis's anger management case in the bathroom. "Em?" He called. Suddenly he was feeling very cold and his body froze in the hallway. He then heard the dresser drawers opening and he darted down the hall. He stopped in the doorway to their bedroom and watched as she frantically threw clothes into a gray duffel bag.

Davis watched his hand as he placed it over the wood paneling on the doorframe, smoothing his hand over it. Without looking at her, he whispered, "Em,"

Her hair was up in a messy ponytail, her face a bare canvas, with no makeup to smudge with her tears. "Em," Davis repeated softly. He then stepped into the room and began to approach her.

She merely spoke incoherent profanities and threw some shirts at him. Years of knowing Emily had not hardened him to her tears, he still got choked up watching her cry, and especially right now, as he knew that he was the cause of her troubles. He sat on the bed, defeated, and said "I'm sorry, Em. I'm just… I'm sorry." He grabbed her hand as she went to toss her toothbrush in her bag. Matching her glance for glance he said, "Don't go."

"Davis, I don't know what's wrong. What's wrong?" She sat on the mattress with her legs crossed in front of him and placed her arms around his neck and drew her face closer to his. Her breath was hot and left Davis's lip dewy as she spoke. "What's wrong, Davis, tell me what's wrong?" Her lip quivered as she tried not to cry while speaking. "You're going out to bars, we're fighting all the time, and you're screaming locked in the bathroom, what's wrong Davis, tell me what's wrong."

"Baby," he raised his hand to her face and said, "I'm sorry. I just had a bad day." His eyes, like a hurt puppy, told her he knew he'd done badly.

"I love you, Davis." She said and raised her hand to her forehead as she watched his eyes flicker back and forth from hers. He smiled as real as he could, betting he was not looking very convincing. It was like she made him forget how to lie. They say it all comes out in the wash, so he could just spill his guts out and beg for forgiveness. The lie was starting to be unbearable, even if he wasn't telling a lie he still felt guilty at the silliest things, often over-explaining his whereabouts.

He moved her bangs out of her eyes and smiled, moving his face close enough to smell her hair. "I love _you_." He said, putting much emphasis on the word you, as though it was a contest.

She stared at him plainly and said, "Then don't do this again." Her voice was cold and she said, "I know we'll talk about this tomorrow," this sentence was met with a half-hearted nod from Davis. "I also know you'll be hung over and won't remember this, so I'm just gonna ask."

Davis's heart sank and he wished he were more intoxicated. He was terrible at keeping a poker face, thus explaining how he's lost 50 last month. "Has anything happened with Kari?" Her words were plain. No hint of true suspicion or hurt feelings. Not angry or demanding. It was as though she was purposely making it easy for him to come clean. He looked directly into her eyes and felt as though he could just tell her the truth and that they could work through it, or maybe that was just the tequila talking.

"Emily," He began with no laughter, no over-exaggeration to make her line of thinking seem crazy. "No." He shook his head. "No, nothing is going on. I promise."

They spend a moment longer looking at one another before she said, "Then stop acting like there is," Emily then nestled her face in his chest. She stood up and wiped down her pants as though they had been wrinkled somehow and said, "I'm gonna stay at my moms. I've just been, stressed and… we both have exams so, I don't think our being around each other right now is," she paused but did not finish her sentence.

Davis nodded and said, "Just for tonight?" Emily shrugged her shoulders and shook her head, which lead him to believe they both had no idea what was going on. Davis continued to nod his head while trying to hide the expression that he was relieved to have her gone.

As soon as she exited the apartment, he began to pace. He tried to sleep but would always find his way back into the kitchen. He received a phone call from Emily saying that she arrived at her moms safe and sound and for him to have a good night.


End file.
